Today's Quote

“If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny.” Thomas Jefferson

Monday, August 19, 2013

Vacation Depression

So, I finally got to take a small vacation after 7 years of not having one. The children and I went to maine to visit my sister. I was only gone for a few days because the farm simply couldn't go too long without me. Hubby stayed home to take care of the critters. I had a wonderful time so wonderful in fact that it really made me re-evaluate things when I got home. While at my sister's house I actually had time to read a book which is something that I love to do. however at home I am typically way to tired and fall asleep trying to read while I am still on the first page. When i got home I realized that I am burned out. I never thought I would be in this position. I have seen others there and because of my blinders and my daily grind to finish projects and keep going I simply couldn't see the forest for the trees. So for the first several days of getting back I was pretty depressed. Well, I can't stay depressed and mopey for long before I start thinking about what I am going to do about my situation. I have to make some changes around here so I have some time to have fun. Having time to have fun and enjoy ourselves has been put by the wayside for work, work and more work. The first thing I am doing is moving to a smaller garden. I am cutting my garden in half and by doing so will eliminate doing a CSA every year. It will eliminate some income from the farm as well, but this year has really taught me that I "make" more if I put up everything that I grow. It has been such a poor year that most of the vegetables from the garden went to filling CSA shares and now I am spending money buying from other farmers just to have something put up. So in the long run I haven't made anything except extra work in keeping up a bigger garden area. We will be butchering off one goat this year. She has never given me a baby and I keep holding on to her because she is gorgeous and I keep hoping. her sister is an awesome milker and the hope has always been there to have two of them milking in that manner. I probably could get her pregnant, but that would cost money because I would need the vet. Resources being used that could better be put to other use. I am taking down some cross fencing simply because moving livestock takes up time and then pastures aren't getting the amount of grazing that they need to stay healthy and useable. I have gotten rid of a good amount of stuff over the past couple of weeks and cleaned out those piles of "do later" things. I am streamlining the taking care of my house and putting my foot down with the children about taking care of their areas. I tidied and decorated my front porch and now I have a wonderful place to sit and rest, read a book, or even do some artwork if I like. I have noticed the past couple of days that even with me just being out here on the porch the children tend to want to come outside more. So, I am working on getting more "fun" time. I am making a list of projects that we have been working on and deciding which ones are really necessary and which ones are actually spinning our wheels. I think my biggest issue is that I simply had too much on my plate and was working constantly towards too many goals. Things that really were not all that beneficial. Sometimes it's good to take a step back and re-evaluate things. Sometimes you are so in the thick of doing that you can't see that your whole life is work and there is no fun time. We are now planning a vacation for next year in which the whole family can come. It will take some doing finding someone to hire to take care of the farm, but if things are pretty streamlined it should make that part easier also. Hope you all have had a great summer. Blessings, Kat

1 comment:

Kelle said...

This is EXACTLY what happened to me last summer. I stopped the CSA this summer and although did grow the same sized garden, we're using more for animals, so no much need to keep it as tidy. I also planted cover crops. We've gotten rid of some goats and downsized the poultry( still two turkeys to put in the freezer) and we're selling our cow too! Mike and I are in our early 50's and it's getting harder and harder to keep up with getting hay, straw and keeping up with all the endless jobs( cleaning barns, firewood, yard/garden, etc...). We're now going on dates again, I'm learning to knit( always wanted to) and getting my house streamlined too. I'm still burned out, but it's been 11yrs of the same ole' same ole and then add in my parents and their health issues, and our son not talking to us for almost 2 yrs.( missing out on our granddaughter growing up) and just life moments and I was burned out. You need to make time for yourself and time for your husband and family. HUGS