I am currently making a conscience effort to buy more American made items. It is a difficult task, but one in which I am willing to take. Anyway, this video is great....funny in a way and truly scary in another way.
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Saturday, May 16, 2009
A Wise Farmer
A wise old farmer went to town to buy a new pickup truck that he saw
advertised in the paper for a certain price. After telling the
salesman which truck he wanted, they set down to do the paperwork.
The salesman handed the farmer the bill, and the farmer
declared "This isn't the price I saw!". The salesman went on to tell
the old wise farmer how he was getting extras such as power steering,
power brakes, power windows, special tires, etc. and that was what
took the price up. The farmer, needing the truck badly, paid the
price and went home.
A few months later, the salesman called up the farmer and said, "My
son is in 4- H and he needs a cow for a project. Do you have any for
sale?"
The farmer replied, "Yes, I have a few cows I would sell for $500
apiece, Come and look at them and take your pick". The salesman said
he and his son would be right out.
After spending a few hours in the field checking out all the farmer's
cows, the two decided on one and the salesman proceeded to write out
a check for $500.
The farmer said------"Now wait a minute, that's not the final price
of the cow, you're getting extras with it and you have to pay for
that too".
"What extras?" asked the salesman.
Below is the list the farmer gave the salesman for the final price of
the cow,,,,,,,,,,
BASIC COW............$500.00 Two-tone exterior.........$45.00 Extra
stomach............$75.00 Product storing equipment.........$60.00
Straw compartment.....$120.00
4 spigots @$10 ea.......$40.00 Leather upholstery......$125.00 Dual
horns...................$45.00 Automatic fly swatter .$38.00
Fertilizer attachment......$185.00
GRAND TOTAL $1,233.00
advertised in the paper for a certain price. After telling the
salesman which truck he wanted, they set down to do the paperwork.
The salesman handed the farmer the bill, and the farmer
declared "This isn't the price I saw!". The salesman went on to tell
the old wise farmer how he was getting extras such as power steering,
power brakes, power windows, special tires, etc. and that was what
took the price up. The farmer, needing the truck badly, paid the
price and went home.
A few months later, the salesman called up the farmer and said, "My
son is in 4- H and he needs a cow for a project. Do you have any for
sale?"
The farmer replied, "Yes, I have a few cows I would sell for $500
apiece, Come and look at them and take your pick". The salesman said
he and his son would be right out.
After spending a few hours in the field checking out all the farmer's
cows, the two decided on one and the salesman proceeded to write out
a check for $500.
The farmer said------"Now wait a minute, that's not the final price
of the cow, you're getting extras with it and you have to pay for
that too".
"What extras?" asked the salesman.
Below is the list the farmer gave the salesman for the final price of
the cow,,,,,,,,,,
BASIC COW............$500.00 Two-tone exterior.........$45.00 Extra
stomach............$75.00 Product storing equipment.........$60.00
Straw compartment.....$120.00
4 spigots @$10 ea.......$40.00 Leather upholstery......$125.00 Dual
horns...................$45.00 Automatic fly swatter .$38.00
Fertilizer attachment......$185.00
GRAND TOTAL $1,233.00
Saturday, May 9, 2009
How are you doing?
How are you doing?
A lone tourist who is passing through the suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks the car by the side of the road and waits for help.
Not much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm animals. The farmer offers the tourist a lift to town and proceeds to explain that he is bringing his farm animals to the town market, where they will be auctioned off to the highest bidders.
Well, it so happens that on the way to the town, the farmer being so engrossed in his story, unintentionally wanders into the other side of road where another vehicle is approaching in the other direction.
The farmer realizes his absent mindness and attempts to avoid the possible collision with the other vehicle. He just misses the other car, but unfortunately crashes the truck into the side of the road. The tourist winds up thrown into a ditch and suffers broken ribs and a broken arm and leg and is obviously in extreme pain. The farm animals are all messed up very badly and the farmer, although remaining inside the vehicle, still suffers cuts and scrapes.
The farmer gets out of the truck and looks at his farm animals.
The chickens all have broken limbs and can barely move. "These chickens are all useless! Nobody will want to buy these chickens anymore!" bellows the farmer. With that, he grabs and loads his shotgun and blows away the chickens.
Next, he sees the pigs and they are all lame and bleeding profusely. "These pigs are all worthless now! I'll get nothing for them!" yells the farmer. With great rage, the farmer reloads his shotgun and blows away the pigs.
The farmer looks at the sheep and they all have broken limbs and their wool is all bloodied. "Worthless sheep!" screams the farmer and with that, he reloads his shotgun and blows away the sheep.
Meanwhile, the injured tourist witnesses all of this carnage in great horror.
The farmer then moves over to the side of the ditch and looks at the tourist. "Are you okay down there?" asked the farmer.
"NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!" the tourist yelled back.
A lone tourist who is passing through the suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks the car by the side of the road and waits for help.
Not much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm animals. The farmer offers the tourist a lift to town and proceeds to explain that he is bringing his farm animals to the town market, where they will be auctioned off to the highest bidders.
Well, it so happens that on the way to the town, the farmer being so engrossed in his story, unintentionally wanders into the other side of road where another vehicle is approaching in the other direction.
The farmer realizes his absent mindness and attempts to avoid the possible collision with the other vehicle. He just misses the other car, but unfortunately crashes the truck into the side of the road. The tourist winds up thrown into a ditch and suffers broken ribs and a broken arm and leg and is obviously in extreme pain. The farm animals are all messed up very badly and the farmer, although remaining inside the vehicle, still suffers cuts and scrapes.
The farmer gets out of the truck and looks at his farm animals.
The chickens all have broken limbs and can barely move. "These chickens are all useless! Nobody will want to buy these chickens anymore!" bellows the farmer. With that, he grabs and loads his shotgun and blows away the chickens.
Next, he sees the pigs and they are all lame and bleeding profusely. "These pigs are all worthless now! I'll get nothing for them!" yells the farmer. With great rage, the farmer reloads his shotgun and blows away the pigs.
The farmer looks at the sheep and they all have broken limbs and their wool is all bloodied. "Worthless sheep!" screams the farmer and with that, he reloads his shotgun and blows away the sheep.
Meanwhile, the injured tourist witnesses all of this carnage in great horror.
The farmer then moves over to the side of the ditch and looks at the tourist. "Are you okay down there?" asked the farmer.
"NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!" the tourist yelled back.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
I sure would like to see this for real!
Arrogant Bureaucrat
A Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with the old farmer.
I'm going to inspect your farm."
The old farmer said, "You better not go in that field."
The Agriculture representative said in a wise tone, "I have the authority of the Government with me. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land."
So, the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the Department of Agriculture representative running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a full nest of hornets and the bull was gaining at every step.
The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!"
A Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with the old farmer.
I'm going to inspect your farm."
The old farmer said, "You better not go in that field."
The Agriculture representative said in a wise tone, "I have the authority of the Government with me. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land."
So, the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the Department of Agriculture representative running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a full nest of hornets and the bull was gaining at every step.
The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!"
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